The Gordon has landed

Here is Gordon on the plane. He is wondering why I am taking his photo. Now he knows why. I am sporting my flannel shirt, now known as "layer #2" for the next 11 days.

Gordon on the plane

The journey to London was almost entirely painless. United Airlines (to London) serves tea with real milk (yes, real actual cow's milk). This was perhaps the highlight of the plane journey.

Gordon in Romford

And here is Gordon in my parents kitchen. England is treating Gordon well. The cup of tea was ceremoniously attached to his right hand as we passed through passport control at Heathrow. The new appendage will be well used in the next 11 days.

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Introduction

Hello. Welcome to the blog "GordonsBigTrip". A blog about Gordon’s big trip around England and Scotland. Apparently one is not allowed to use apostrophes in the blog URL, so we shall set off on a grammatically incorrect foot. Sorry about that. I am Richard, Gordon’s translator for his 10-day whirlwind trip around England and Scotland . My principal job is to translate between American (Gordon’s native tongue) and English (the language of the locals). I am almost bilingual in American-English, though I sternly refuse to use any 21 st century English popularisms such as “ chav ” Goodness, what a horrible word. I have yet to inform Gordon that I do not speak a word of Scottish, which is a real pity since Gordon has his sights set on having a great time in Scotland. Sorry about that too. Our trip has not even vaguely started (we leave on Thursday November 1 st ), but I need practice “blogging” since I am a quasi- Luddite (I suppose I’m not a full Luddite since I don’...

Bad News for Round-Earthers

The trip has still not started. Shucks. In the meantime, some bad news for all you round-Earthers out there: United Airlines Flight 934 (yes, the very flight that Gordon I will shortly be taking) has definitively discovered that the world is, after all, flat. The amateurish video shows the UAL 934 flight paths from the last couple of weeks. That's right, UAL 934 has proved beyond doubt that Great Circles are indeed not always the shortest distance between two places on the planet. And therefore the world must be flat (I heard someone mutter something about map projections and jet streams, but I'm sure they have no idea what they're on about). I can't really explain what the pilot was doing with that little diversion over Greenland on October 18th though. Perhaps something to do with global warming? Maybe UAL 934 will shortly explode that myth too?

Pre-trip ramble

This is Imogen ("Im-oh-jen"). She knows how to have more fun than anyone else I know. She is not coming on the trip. Which is just as well because she also knows how to wreak more havoc than anyone else I know. She has no role to play in this trip, but I thought I'd throw her in as an aside since not a great deal is happening on our trip so far (you know, because the trip hasn't actually started yes). And also, her older brother gets to be in my profile picture as well as getting his face in a peer-reviewed publications at the age of five. Imogen was the 32nd most popular girls' name in Britain in 2011. It has never appeared in the top 1000 in the US. Thus she will be cursed with name mispronunciations for her entire life. Sorry about that Immy. This does not fully explain why Tennessee thought fit to list my nationality as "Ukraine" on her birth certificate (I kid you not). Upon further inquiry, the lovely Tennessee State employ...

Gordon's Big Trip

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