The Gordon has landed

Here is Gordon on the plane. He is wondering why I am taking his photo. Now he knows why. I am sporting my flannel shirt, now known as "layer #2" for the next 11 days.

Gordon on the plane

The journey to London was almost entirely painless. United Airlines (to London) serves tea with real milk (yes, real actual cow's milk). This was perhaps the highlight of the plane journey.

Gordon in Romford

And here is Gordon in my parents kitchen. England is treating Gordon well. The cup of tea was ceremoniously attached to his right hand as we passed through passport control at Heathrow. The new appendage will be well used in the next 11 days.

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Introduction

Hello. Welcome to the blog "GordonsBigTrip". A blog about Gordon’s big trip around England and Scotland. Apparently one is not allowed to use apostrophes in the blog URL, so we shall set off on a grammatically incorrect foot. Sorry about that. I am Richard, Gordon’s translator for his 10-day whirlwind trip around England and Scotland . My principal job is to translate between American (Gordon’s native tongue) and English (the language of the locals). I am almost bilingual in American-English, though I sternly refuse to use any 21 st century English popularisms such as “ chav ” Goodness, what a horrible word. I have yet to inform Gordon that I do not speak a word of Scottish, which is a real pity since Gordon has his sights set on having a great time in Scotland. Sorry about that too. Our trip has not even vaguely started (we leave on Thursday November 1 st ), but I need practice “blogging” since I am a quasi- Luddite (I suppose I’m not a full Luddite since I don’...

Bad News for Round-Earthers

The trip has still not started. Shucks. In the meantime, some bad news for all you round-Earthers out there: United Airlines Flight 934 (yes, the very flight that Gordon I will shortly be taking) has definitively discovered that the world is, after all, flat. The amateurish video shows the UAL 934 flight paths from the last couple of weeks. That's right, UAL 934 has proved beyond doubt that Great Circles are indeed not always the shortest distance between two places on the planet. And therefore the world must be flat (I heard someone mutter something about map projections and jet streams, but I'm sure they have no idea what they're on about). I can't really explain what the pilot was doing with that little diversion over Greenland on October 18th though. Perhaps something to do with global warming? Maybe UAL 934 will shortly explode that myth too?

Scotland let the right ones in

Days photos at http://www.flickr.com/photos/middles/ . We are in Scotland, a place that reminds us that not only is the US the land of the free and home of the brave, the US is also the land of convenient bathrooms where the light switch is actually in the bathroom. This is not Scotland. It's still the Lake District. Scotland looks a lot like this, except the stone walls are made of the skulls of Englishmen. I waved my US passport at border control (carefully hiding the UK one) as we crossed the border. Or I would have if such a thing (a border control) existed. The first town across the England-Scotland Border is Gretna Green, commonly known as the "Las Vegas of Scotland", though without the gambling, gratuitous nudity, and anything vaguely modern and/or risque ( I'm not entirely joking ). Basically, you can marry at 16 without parental consent in Scotland and Gretna Green was the first accessible town over the border (or something like that). People often go...

Gordon's Big Trip

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